From a boys biggest insult to a girls greatest fear: the term "virginity" has been stretched far and wide, and it has become something that people refer to in a negative context. Here's why it's all BS.
A Social Construct
In Sex Education at school, they teach us that the average age to lose your virginity is 15-16.
OK, so the most common age to lose your virginity is 15-17, however there's a number of factors that need to be considered:
Regret
Most people who have lost their virginity at a young age, regret their choice of who they lost it to. When I tell you I hate the guy I lost my virginity to - I mean it.
Ladbible researched into the amount of people that regret how and who they lost their virginity with. The results: "31 percent of the total participants regretted the way in which they lost their virginity, with 45 percent of American women and 36 percent of European women saying that they did, while 25 percent of European men and 22 percent men said that they did. The most common reasons for regret were that they were not in love with the partner and that the partner pressured them into it, with an outlier that a full quarter of European men were drunk when they lost their virginity."
I find that everyone's in such a rush - especially boys - to have sex. A lot of boys lose their virginity to any girl, just to get it over and done with. Similarly, girls can fall into the trap of thinking that they have created a connection with someone, and then it turns out the boy was using her for sex. It is very important that before you lose your virginity, you do it with someone you trust and you're comfortable with. Although this is good advice - I know that everyone is allowed to make their own decisions regardless of the pain they might cause.
Know your worth
I think that young girls nowadays feel incompetent and insecure due to the pressures of the "perfect" women they see everyday on social media. I also think that girls have a need to feel good about themselves, which is often directly linked with sex. Sex can make you feel empowered, however it also make you feel depressed if you're doing it with the wrong person, or for the wrong reasons. I know that everyone wants to feel wanted, however it's important to not let yourself be led on by a boy whose trying to have sex with you/ lose their virginity. I know it may sound sick and twisted - but it happens. Boys can let their testosterone control their actions, and can do some really twisted things obliviously. However, don't take offence at their nature - take precaution. It is important that you really know who you are choosing to lose your virginity to - and that you trust them. You can't just talk to a boy over snapchat for 3 days and then have sex with him - trust me, you'll regret it. I highly recommend being in a relationship when losing your virginity.
Losing your Virginity doesn't change a thing
The phrase "losing your virginity" is one of those things that sounds like a massive thing, and it is presented to us through media as a massive part of growing up. On TV programmes, adolescent girls and boys always plan for "the big night" where they become a "man" or a "woman." From a young age, we are exposed to the unnecessary stigma of having sex. Let me tell you right now - it is not a big deal. It's like getting a new toy - eventually you're gonna get bored with it and shove it in the loft.
Compare it to when you were nine years old, and the clock struck midnight and it was finally your tenth birthday. You were finally double digits, but you didn't feel any different. Oh, I made a fuss over nothing. You're probably going to be flooded with a wave of disappointment afterwards and it's like "oh? Is that it?" That's why I'm telling you now - there's no need to rush. What's the point? Sex isn't going anywhere, and I don't understand why people are so intent on making you believe that it is.
When It's Right
When you do meet that person that makes you feel safe and appreciated, Sex is a good thing. Everyone has sex. It's a part of life. What I will say however, is trust your instincts. When something doesn't feel right, 9/10 it's because it's not. Never feel pressured into having sex. Just because you may have planned to have sex, doesn't mean that you have to - ever. You have the right to say no, regardless of what anyone else might say.
Looking for more advice?
Check out our other blog posts: https://www.whattheydontteachyouatschool.net/
Follow our Instagram for advice and daily motivation: @whattheydontteachyouatschool
Just want someone to talk to?
Get in touch with us anonymously today: contact us
Comments