When I hear a lot of people talking about sex, it's pretty often that "pulling out" is something that is widely discussed, as people seem to still be doing it. Unfortunately, from my personal experience, I KNOW that it doesn't work.
I got pressured into letting him pull out
My proper first boyfriend was when I was 16. I met him from the place that I was working at the time, and he was 19. When we first had sex, I bought condoms for him to wear as I didn't want to get pregnant (sensible) and I remember when I gave him the condom to put on, his first reaction was: "Do I have to?" Straight away I started to doubt the decision. I just wanted to make him happy, and I trusted him. He tried to put the condom on for literally a second, and then he started with "I'll just pull out, I do it all the time... I've never got anyone pregnant, I won't cum in you..." It wasn't necessarily because I wanted to impress him that I let him "pull out", it was more because I trusted him. And that's what I hear a lot of girls saying: "I let him pull out because I trust him." Well I have bad news for you, and its called PRECUM.
Precum
"Your chance of becoming pregnant from pre-cum may be slim, but it can still happen. Sperm can still be present in the urethra and mix with pre-cum that's released before ejaculation," Healthline states. When having sex, sometimes before a boy ejaculates, he produces precum, which is something that can happen without him even knowing about it. If that's not reason enough to wear contraception, then I don't know what is.
"Boys will be boys"
The real problem behind this issue, is not just the miseducation regarding the subject, it is also the pressure that boys can put on girls to let them pull out, and the submission that the girls can give them. Girls: you should not have to persuade your boyfriend to use contraception - it should be a mutual decision. If a boy does not think about the dangers and consequences of pulling out, how will he think about any of the consequences of his other actions? Do you think that he respects your needs and your body? The answer, whether you like it or not, is no. Boys will often say that "it doesn't feel as nice with a condom on", however remember that they are not the ones taking the risk of getting pregnant: you are. It was only after I had gotten pregnant that my ex told me that he had gotten two other girls pregnant after not using contraception, and one of them twice. And no, he didn't stick around to support me through it.
Trust Can Be Misleading
Don't get me wrong, having a trusting relationship is a very positive thing. However, there are definite boundaries that need to be set between you and your sexual partner. View it as this: you and your partner both play a part in sex. You both need to ensure that you are taking precautions against an unwanted pregnancy. It should never just be a one sided thing. It is important that you are confident that your partner has your needs as their priority, and vice versa. After all, it's your body, and if he doesn't respect your body how can he respect you as a person?
How do I talk about it?
Like everything else in a relationship, communication is key. You need to be able to express your opinions without feeling like you're burdening your partner. Just bring it up in a conversation in person, so that you can address the situation clearly, and relay your concerns.
You're the one who takes the risk
The truth of the situation is that the woman is the one who gets pregnant. Therefore, by letting him pull out, you are doing so at your own risk. It's crucial to think through your decisions, especially this one, otherwise the repercussions will be harsh.
If it's an option for you
If you're partner is insistent on not wearing condoms due to discomfort you should consider going on the pill, which besides it's side effects is a popular contraceptive. (Read more about the pill in my article - The Pill: The Basics)
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