I can appreciate all of the effort that people are putting in with their lives at the moment. Exams are approaching rapidly, UCAS deadlines are coming, big life decisions need to be made: what will you do? Where will you go? Who do you want to be? Who do you want to be with. As good and necessary as big life changes can be, they can also bring a massive amount of eruption to our relationships. The question "should we break up before uni" is a question that we all avoid, until the times right.
A Fresh Start
9/10, people don't choose to go to University because they are focused on getting a degree. It's all about the "university experience," and whether you deny it or not, it's the truth. The excitement of moving away from home, starting fresh, meeting and living with new people - basically starting again. You can be whoever you want when you go to university. and that's why it can feel like you should end your relationship before you go. Some people think of it like extra baggage, and they just want to maintain the responsibility while they are at uni.
Be Realistic
Something that I find pretty tiresome is the excuses people make when they break up with their partner before uni. I think that it's completely normal to consider these questions before you make the big life decision of going away to university. A massive life change will come with consequences, which unfortunately can reflect in your relationship. However, there are people who manage to make it work. It's really important that you take a step back and assess your relationship. Are you happy? Do you see yourself with this person through university? Do you like the person you are when you are with this person? Know what you want and need from your relationship - only you can decide and shape your own future.
Don't just dump them
Traditionally, for some reason people assume that when they go to university it's best to go without a relationship. It goes without saying that there are a lot of temptations- especially when everyone around you is single - you want to be able to share the same freedoms as the other people around you who aren't in relationships. However, you shouldn't just end your relationship because that's what everyone else is doing - think for yourself. If you're having doubts in your relationship already, then it's important to talk them out. Those doubts needs to be dealt with before you go to university, otherwise your relationship will not last long.
Lower your expectations for University
A lot of people end their relationships before they go away to University and are disappointed by the consequences when they go to university. Sure, at first there's a new found rush of being single and having the freedom to do what you want to do, however if your in a stable relationship, you shouldn't feel as though having a partner is making you feel trapped. I personally think that having a stable relationship makes University easier to navigate, as you always have someone there for you to talk about it. Maybe just see how things go with you and your partner, and maintain an openness about your relationship.
Have "the conversation"
It's very important that you have that conversation with your partner, and I don't mean over snapchat. As well as your own feelings, you need to consider their feelings about the situation. Talking calmly and openly about these things is something that will keep your relationship going while you're away from each other.
Just see how you go
Look, you're still young. You don't need to decide or make massive life decisions regarding relationships if you don't want to. Be open with your partner and maybe see how you go while you're at university. If you're both not feeling like it's working, then do what's best for you!
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