This is a little series that I'm going to start doing which will be based off of your answers on my Instagram polls in order to help people see things from a different perspective, and all in all, improve the way that we view controversial subjects and talk about them. Follow me on Instagram: @whattheydontteachyouatschool to get involved with my polls.
Cheating
It's not news to anyone that cheating is a subject that people are often strongly opinionated about, especially if you are the victim of a cheater, or even have made the mistake yourself in the past, which seems to be commonplace in this generation due to the introduction of social media which makes it easier to cheat on your partner and maintain secrecy for a long period of time. That's why I thought that doing an Instagram poll wouldn't just be me talking about my opinions about cheating, but rather a more balanced approach based off of your answers.
So here they are:
Evaluation
I think that a lot of you have been either hurt or scarred from a bad cheating experience. It's a very commonplace thing for people growing up in the social media generation, as cheating has become a miniscule thing that can be done just by sending a text on snapchat, which automatically deletes messages if you don't save them. No wonder we all have trust issues. Cheating has become something that is quick and easy - and so fucking tempting- especially for those with a lack of self control. Everywhere you look on social media people put themselves on display like a fresh piece of meat for a predator, literally begging for some attention. A friend and I actually discussed how the creators of Instagram never intended for the app to be used in such a toxic way. Instead of using the app to share pictures of real life and things that you enjoy, it is now a form of self promotion, advertising you through what you look like rather than who you are. Because of this objectification of each other, it's basically impossible not to be exposed to the desire to cheat, especially if you're in a long - term relationship.
Sometimes I look at girls Instagram's and I'm just thinking jesus. Picture after picture of ass, tits and oooo look there's a link where you can sign up to send her money in exchange for her body. Not just girls, but boys too. How many boys have simply popped up to you sending a picture of their abs, saying: "Talk x"? Or even sometimes they jump straight to it and send a picture of their knob that you just didn't ask for, even though they know you have a boyfriend.
Thinking not doing
It's pretty clear to me from the answers that I received that there is a common misconception that thinking about cheating is the same as actually cheating. I mean, you're telling me that you haven't ever bumped into a boy/girl at a club, in a shop, or even seen someone who is exactly your type on Instagram, and not thought about them? Or even had a sex dream about someone who isn't your partner? I know that I have! On a scientific level, humans are literally born with the instinctive desire to reproduce in order to keep the species going, which is why we all get these urges, whether you are willing to admit it or not.
Continue to be a thinker - not a doer
The bottom line is, there is a fundamental difference between thinking and doing. Unfortunately, humans aren't perfect, and as much as you try to be, you never will be. That's why it's important to deal with your thoughts about cheating (if you're having them) in a healthy way and "nip them in the bud" before its too late.
Firstly, acknowledge them. The worst thing you can do is live in denial about your own thoughts. It doesn't mean that you need to tell your partner about these thoughts - however you must deal with them yourself. Decide how you feel about these thoughts. Do you feel excited, disappointed, perhaps even as if you have betrayed your partner? And now, evaluate the situation. How do you feel in your current relationship? How does your partner make you feel? Do they devote themselves to you and your relationship with them? Would I be happier in a relationship with this other person? And finally, interact with them. What are you going to do about it? The thing about thinking about cheating, is that you are given the choice. Thoughts are just a basis for actions, but you have the power to choose not to cheat.
Listen to your heart but act with your head
There are only two options in this scenario. The best thing is to take yourself down both routes and consider the options and consequences of your actions. Ask yourself if it's really worth the pain, the guilt - and ultimately ruining a relationship that might be the best option emotionally and physically for your future.
In a relationship? ME too...
Being in a relationship, especially a long term one, can be a struggle. Relationships are about compromise, connecting with your partner on a personal and emotional level and learning how to grow together. Sometimes more than others it can be difficult to see eye to eye and you may even have doubts about your relationship, which is normal and I don't think that you should feel guilty about this. Doubts in your relationship may lead you to look for something else in someone else in order to avoid your own issues. However, it's important to deal with your feelings rather than to simply ignore them in order to improve your relationship. These thoughts about cheating may actually be an eye opener to what you might be missing in your own relationship, and this could be a good opportunity to see how both you and your partner can improve it.
An Open Road
Life is an open road. There are many different intersections and back roads that you will come across, including your decisions about who your friends are, the career you choose and the person you want to be with. It's an ongoing quest and there's so much we still haven't been able to figure out yet due to a lack knowledge which can only progress with age and experience.
However, by dealing with your thoughts about cheating rather than ignoring them, you are actually ensuring that your relationship is more healthy. You are resolving these issues in order to strengthen the bond you have with your partner, which is much more mature than simply denying your thoughts, which is a common mistake that you can make and regret.
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