One of the things that I’ve been learning for the past couple of years when I’ve needed people the most, is that they’re disappointing. Put simply – you can’t rely on anyone but yourself. The immature version of myself believed that you could trust people; your friends, your family, adults, teachers. But now that I’ve had a taste of the real world living on my own and facing my problems on my own, I’ve come to realise that the only person who can truly help you is yourself.
Be your number one supporter
Since I started living on my own, I’ve achieved a lot. I’ve worked hard to make a better life for myself, chase my dreams and achieve goals that I would’ve never been able to without my own support. I don’t come from a very supportive family and people that I have tried to seek support from have continuously let me down. Eventually I just realised that people are selfish, and just like animals do in nature, you must adapt to survive. I used to value the opinions of those around me, but instead of accepting these as the truth, I have actively found my own truths instead and this has allowed me to develop my own goals, standards and beliefs. Because of this, it has strengthened my character and made me feel more motivated and driven than ever before. I have learnt that you cannot progress in your life unless you become your number one supporter. Be there for yourself by developing your own opinions, listen to your own gut feeling, and learn from other peoples mistakes.
A Dog eat Dog world
If you want to be successful, you must learn how to fight for yourself and own your independence! Outside of sixth form, college and secondary school, it's a dog eat dog world. Everyone is in competition with each other, and people will attempt to rip you off if you give them the opportunity. It's important to stay vigilant around people, be a smart thinker - don't reveal all of your cards at once. Always place your own health and progress above others!
Being Selfish is a GOOD thing
A painful lesson that I have been trying to learn for a long time is that you NEED to be selfish in life. You cannot let people take advantage of your kindness because 9/10, this is what they do. Don't lend untrustworthy/ people you don't know well any money or personal possessions, put your own needs and mental health before others, and in general put yourself first.
Don't just settle
A piece of golden advice I can impart upon you is to not settle in friendships or relationships, even family, if the energy you receive from them is negative. Putting yourself first takes a lot of time and effort, especially for nice and easily influenced people. However, it makes you independent, strong and shows people that you are not afraid to stand up for yourself. One of my favourite advice about knowing your worth comes from an Instagram account called business growth mentor:
"When someone treats you like you're just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It's not pride - it's self-respect. Don't give part time people a full time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve."
- @businessgrowthmentor
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